I have felt led to get back into “blogging” after my unplanned three and a half month break, but yesterday when I started to write, my mind hit a complete block.

I am overwhelmed with what the Sweet Lord has done in my life over the past few months; I had nowhere to begin. I am almost 100% sure that as time goes on, He will lead me to incorporate stories of all His hands did in those months - as of now, though, He as encouraged me to write a daily blurb of what is on my heart. It may come as a picture, a story, a verse, or a simple thought He has given me, but it will be unique to just that day. Indeed, this is today. We are given today as a gift. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow does not exist yet. I so easily get tangled up in every other moment besides the one I am currently in. Now is the time to rejoice in TODAY - in the exact moment He has us in - not in what happened yesterday (or five minutes ago) or what may happen tomorrow. This is the day, the time, that He has made. 

so today [march 10, 2011] I am praying for my upcoming trip to Haiti. Our team leaves on Sunday, and I could not be more fired up! I asked the Lord for specific verses - for vision for the trip. And this is what He so perfectly has given me —->

Isaiah 49:10 is my prayer for the people of Haiti:

::::They will neither hunger nor thirst, nor will the desert heat or the sun beat upon them. He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water::::

and

John 3:30 for myself

:::HE must become greater, I must become less.:::

“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” [John 12:24]

in this season of fall, i have been encouraged to search my heart for those things that need to “die.” as Jesus says, if a kernel of wheat does not fall to the ground and die, it will simply remain as one plain, unfruitful seed. there are things i hold onto in life that as a result are remaining plain and unfruitful, possibly “kernels” that are hindering me from allowing the life, love, and fruitfulness of Christ to develop within me. BUT - Jesus also says that when the seed dies, loses its identity as an individual seed, it produces many seeds - life - fruit - abundance.

it’s pretty cool that we can view the dying season of fall and winter as hope for new life in the spring. the leaves die, the grass dies, the flowers die, yet EVERY spring we witness, physically, new life arise as new leaves grow, grass blades breathe again, and flowers blossom into beauty. 

can Christ not do that in our own lives - physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally? HE alone is the ultimate image of a wretched death but a glorious resurrection. death and then NEW life. life that promises grace, life, and peace to all of us. 

so what is it within me that needs to “die” this season with the leaves and with the flowers? selfish ambition, pride, fear, jealousy, complacency…. check. how awesome to know the hope of the resurrected, new life promised on the other side of it all. 

thank you, Lord, for sweet conviction that you produce within us - not to bring condemnation or death in a destructive sense - but to bring purity, new life, and resurrection within us. and thank you for the season of fall as a beautiful reminder of who you are!

what can wash away my sin?

nothing but the blood of Jesus

what can make me whole again?

nothing but the blood of Jesus 

lately the Lord has been reminding me of how His ways are so much higher than mine. in Proverbs 16:9 it says -

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”

there is so much comfort and assurance to be found in this verse. we can never step outside of His plan for our lives because He is ultimately mapping out our steps. yes - we may take wrong turns out of selfish desires - but that is where grace comes in. one of my favorite quotes is, ‘the will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.’ He remains Sovereign Lord over our plans. if we quiet the constant voices of strife, stress and confusion running in our heads, we will hear His still small voice saying, “this is the way, walk in it.” sometimes, deep down i question if His will plans truly are good for me. the thought process is not, “i just do not think that the Lord cares for me or ultimately is working things together for my good.” nope. it is more of, “i have to figure this out. i have to plan x,y, and z because when it makes sense to me it is good.” or fear creeps in telling me reasons why i am not enough: worthy enough, talented enough, pretty enough… all of that stems from not fully believing that His plans are good. BUT - Jeremiah 29:11 promises that. we are promised in Scripture that the Lord already knows the plans He has for each of us. and they are good, they prosper us, and do NOT harm us. we are promised a hope and a future. i think it’s time to start trusting our sweet Lord and taking Him by His word. He is determining our steps and leading us from glory to glory!  

so i’ve been learning a lot about my time table versus the Lord’s. and i’m thinking He is still staying along the lines of surrender with me until i fully get the picture - which is great. but could also be a long time. 

earlier this week in the simple quietness of my dorm room, the Lord showed up in a big way. i’m not even sure i have read the entire book of Acts - but for some crazy/necessary reason the Lord led me to Acts 1 and sweetly pierced my heart with this verse —>

“He said to them, ‘It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority.’” [verse 7]

so, anne carlton, continue to give up your plans to Me because it is not for you to know what I am up to - but I AM Sovereign. and I do know what is best for YOU individually, and your family as a unit, and life in general… 

pretty much sums it up. sometimes i get frustrated when i do not physically see the fruit of my prayers immediately, or things start going the opposite direction, or simply seem frozen. but i, with faith and experience of His faithfulness and goodness, can assure you that our Sweet Father, Lord, and Best Friend hears our prayers. He may not immediately turn something around, but that does not mean He hasn’t heard or doesn’t care. it simply means His time table is different - and it is set by His authority and is right. trust in that. and never forget when you see His righteousness being displayed and His hand moving in your life to give Him praise [psalm 105]! He deserves it ALL.

thanks, Lord, for your faithfulness to us and that you care enough about every intricate detail of our lives to work out perfectly the time, place, and plan for everything. i trust You alone. surely we will see your goodness in the land of the living!

well - what a wonderful week it has been! highlights from this past week include:

: meeting my WONDERFUL new big sis Constance. she’s the best.

: an amazing Thanksgiving-feast-times-a thousand meal with the alums. the setting was a beautiful plantation home, tucked away at the end of a windy driveway. included in the plantation - horses. and as if on cue, they were galloping through the side yard as we pulled up. 

: getting even closer with my 57 new sisters as we became official,  sharing cheesecake with my dad at the reception, and standing in the candle-lit circle with former member/best friend/role model - my mom. 

and those are just the highlights. every last minute was filled with joy, challenge, and excitement. i love college. 

but what really matters: Jesus and His goodness. the King is enthralled by the inner-most being of each of us. and we won over His heart before we were even created. He knew us before we were physically existing and had compassion on us through the cross. Thank you, Lord.

—> He has been showing me this week about the importance of surrender. maybe it is college’s fault - or more realistically my own - but my perspective lately has been so greatly in the future. i have been thinking about classes for next semester, scheming trips with friends in the spring, frustrating myself with summer plans… if it is monday, i am thinking about my test on thursday. if it is saturday, i am thinking about how i am going to do laundry/homework/exercise/church/etc etc on sunday. i think the picture has been painted clear enough.

this does not sound like a big deal. and from the world’s perspective it really isn’t. planning and time management are great things. BUT - this is a tiny part of my heart that the Lord has drawn out and wants me to give back to Him. do i really trust that His plans - each and every plan from having clean clothes sunday to making a decent grade on thursday - are good for me? that ultimately, this life is a breath, and that i should be pouring myself out on behalf of the poor, the afflicted, the broken instead of worrying whether or not i have an hour period during the day that i can use to go for a run?

surrender: to give up or hand over, to abandon oneself entirely

in order to gain REAL life - minus the striving, scheming, and stressing - i have to abandon myself entirely. surrender every fear of what’s to come, every one of my plans for the day, every hope and every dream to Jesus because He cares. He really truly cares for each of us. He promises life and life abundant. He says that if we cling to our lives, we will lose it —- not because He wants to punish us for being in control —- but because in surrender comes eternal, abundant, and fulfilling life. 

[Luke 17:33, John 10:10]

- an excerpt from the devtional Jesus Calling:

“trust Me enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them… when you project yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient: to be adequate without My help. don’t divide your life into things you an do by yourself and things that require My help - instead, learn to rely on Me in every situtation.”

blessings!

the kids at cornerstone have such bright futures. what a blessing for them to experience the love of Christ every day at school. such an awesome ministry down there!

painting at cornerstone school. Jesus is our hero!

what a great weekend of refreshment at home. i did not realize how unbelievably blessed i am to have grown up where i did - b’ham is BEAUTIFUL. and thank you, Jesus, for this weather — being kissed by the sunshine and chilled by the crisp wind — could not be better. this weekend’s highlights:

- watching a sweet friend give up her homecoming crown to a very-deserving new queen

- Dove chocolate quote: “you are exactly where you are supposed to be” [i’ll take that]

- a couple of pleasant, long runs

- favorite meal from surin, check. visit my friends at the pants store, check. grande iced vanilla coffee from starbucks, check. i love crestline. 

- spending time with my mom at cornerstone school in downtown birmingham

[so cornerstone school is a privately-funded Christian elementary school in inner-city birmingham that freely gives education and the love of Jesus to precious children. today after church, my mom asked me to join her down there to wrap up an art project she has been a part of in preparing for an “open house” at the school. honestly - i had other plans in mind. i was home, i wanted to do this and that, blah blah blah. well thank you LORD for taking me out there and meeting me there! wow. when you spend yourself on behalf of someone else… now that is the most fulfilling thing we can be a part of. these first few months of college have been a time of selfishness. everything has been about me and what i’m doing, what classes i’m taking, what friends i’m meeting. never have i ever felt so drained at the end of my days. today’s escape to cornerstone was so simple - my mom put on worship music, and for an hour and a half we both painted/hung pictures/decorated bulletin boards - as an offering to cornerstone but also as worship to our precious Jesus. yes, i was tired, but so fulfilled. it’s not about me.]

and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.

    isaiah 58:10

     so thank you Jesus for the refreshing sunshine and breeze. thank you for Your unconditional love that empowers us to love others. thank you for treasured friendships and priceless family members. and - it’s october - my favorite month!